May 19, 2010

so i decided to start a new blog only because its easier to keep them all associated with the same log in and such...

anyways, i tried calling a few times last week, it always went straight to voice mail, i called this weekend and left a message, no call back, I called this morning, again, right to voice mail... 3 minutes till his school bus came, he called me back.
We talked quickly, and couldn't really say much, i wanted to tell him how much I missed him, how much i couldn't wait to come back and see him again, but there wasn't even time. I asked him how school was yesterday, and how t-ball was Friday. I asked him if he got any new wrestlers, he told me "yea, undertaker" for a second he got excited "Guess what Undertaker it is!! The Wrestle mania one!" then i heard "Its time to go."... then from Alex "Well, i gotta go now..." in such a sad voice
I told him i would call him tomorrow, and i loved him, all I got back was an "OK". I said, "I love you baby.." and again, i got a sad "OK".

He does this every time...

I find a way to come see Alex, and Alex gets so excited... he jumps up and runs to me, and hugs me tight, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!!!" he misses me... and I miss him. when i get to talk to him for days straight, he gets excited, you can tell he looks forward to it... he tells me everything, about his wrestlers, school, t-ball...

but that's when Nate stops it... he wont answer the phone calls, he will keep his phone off, he wont return calls... And then Alex withdrawals... he doesn't feel like telling me happy things anymore, or sharing all those things with me... and that kills me...

anyways... I guess all I can do it keep track of the phone calls and visits here...

Mom said we could go back down, and Nate told my mom he would bring Alex up to see my family up here... lets see if it really happens...

When we were down there, Nate told my mom that he thinks us coming down really messes with Alex mind... she told me, that she told him, she doesn't think it does at all.... and neither do I. If you saw how happy Alex was when i walked in that door.... I cant really even explain it..